May 21, 2011

Mother's Day Re-cap

Mother's Day.
I must admit, I have dreaded this day during the past 5 years we've struggled with starting our family. This year I was asked to speak in church and I must have some sort of disorder in which I cannot say no, because I heard myself say, "Sure!" and then I went home and cried. How could I speak to my entire ward about the sensitive feelings I've had towards a day that so clearly marked the thing, that up until now, I was not? I was definitely feeling sorry for myself and letting it get the better of me. Don't get me wrong, I am eternally grateful for the incredible sacrifice and blessing that made me Isla's mom, but our struggle with infertility and recurrent miscarriage has left a few battle scars. Old injuries that sometimes ache. And then an interesting thing happened. Cassie, Isla's birthmom, invited me to attend the annual dinner held at the LDSFS office in Salt Lake City to honor birthmothers day. Birthmother's Day is held the day before Mother's Day. This may be the first time you've heard of it, but the day seems incredibly fitting to me, seeing as Cassie had to be a mom before I could be one. I walked into a room full of women that had all placed a baby through adoption anywhere from 25 years ago to 2 weeks ago. The spirit in the room was so strong as I listened to each of their stories, laughed, cried, and looked at pictures of their sweet babies and the new families they had created. Beautiful women. Loving mothers. One word...humbled. I know my Heavenly Father loves me, but I'm grateful that he chooses to remind me that sometimes, it's not all about me. It was just what I needed to give me the strength and inspiration to speak to the women in our ward. Women who should know that although it is a tremendous blessing to be a wife and mother, the greater blessing is that first and foremost we are
It was a good day.


  1. That was beautiful!!!! I bet you did an amazing job, I am sad I wasn't there to hear you speak.

  2. Kindle, I'm reading your blog.

    I hope that is okay.

    I loved this post and Isla's b-day photos.

    Your post was tender and touching..

    I thought about Ether when the Lord tell us that he gives men weakness that he may make them strong...

    Mormon scholars have suggested the weakness the Lord speaks of is mortality. I don't have to address tons of your post to this....because you are wise...and yeah... Thank you for sharing this. I loved it.

    I can't imagine what that might have felt like to be in that room with all those women...I am sure it was "out of this world good"

  3. and I cried again ! not enough that I did thru your entire talk - but again. Thank you so much for being such a great example of love and compassion - and Cassie too - we all take so much for granted. You are indeed amazing ! Thanks for sharing your intimate feelings - and inspiration !!!

  4. Why is it that everytime I read your blog I cry? We must be kindred spirits! :) We love you guys so much and are so happy that you are able to have Isla and that you are able to be a darn good mommy!

  5. Thanks ladies! I certainly look up to all of you. Love you!