Small and Simple Things

Where the deer and the antelope play...

2011-09-22T19:32:00.000-07:00

Hello, camping! Last week we packed up the girly and headed south to Zion National Park. The weather was perfect and the ponderosa's smelled like earth. We set up camp the first night at Duck Creek in Dixie National Forest and settled in for a cozy night around the fire and a black sky so full of stars we barely needed a flashlight. Isla had Oreo's for the first time in her life and there is no turning back now. Ahh, the joys of camping when your a toddler.

Isla was in heaven with all the freedom she had to wander and explore in the rocks and dirt. Oh, funny story! After the long drive, we quickly set up camp and I made a b-line for the bathroom. While I was taking care of business another lady came in with a huge dog that she left near the sink while she went into the stall. Sure enough that huge dog thought he'd come introduce himself to me and crawled right under the door and into the tiny stall with me! Sheesh, it was...um...crowded. The lady was so embarrassed, but what can you do! He was quite friendly despite the complete lack of bathroom etiquette. HA!

Camping is reeeeally different now that I'm a mom. Still fun, but different. Remember when you were a kid and you'd play in the forest all day and then suddenly lunch would appear? And then you'd go on a good long hike, or go ride your 4-wheeler, and when you were super tired you'd come back to camp and the yummiest, hot, dinner would be magically waiting for you?

Yeah, your mom was making that happen.

The last two days of our trip we spent at a resort near the entrance of Zion. These little cabins held a queen size bunk bed and a pull-out couch and that's all. It was the perfect combo of comfort and camping and we were loving having a place for Isla to take her afternoon nap. I never thought I would say this, but I think this is totally the way to go!

Beautiful ZION!

Oh, yeah, and there was a pool area. It was soooo nice to soak our tired tootsies in the hot tub after all the hikes we did. Isla is a water baby for sure. Fearless! Swimming lessons are going to be a must next spring.

It was the perfect Summer farewell and gave us a chance to spend some awesome quality time as a family. It was weird to come back to cell phone's and internet and now were already planning the next trip back to all those delicious ponderosa pines and that midnight sky full of stars.

2011-08-09T19:06:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to my sweetheart.

Those of us that are above the 30 year old mark know that it isn't the easiest birthday. So for my Kindle's 30th, I wanted to make it as fun and memorable as possible. Without her knowing I called all her obligations and cancelled because, with a little help from family, I had planned a surprise birthday weekend extravaganza that started with a date night to see Captain America. The next morning we dropped Isla off at her cousins house for some extended play time and headed off to Park City for a little relaxing and some fun. We listened to live music on the hillside at the Canyons ski resort, watched the sunset like lovebirds, and ate a fancy dinner at the Purple Sage. In the morning Kindle woke up to an in-room professional massage and then we celebrated by reminding ourselves to live life to the fullest by eating some french croissants for breakfast and doing the alpine slide and huge zip-lines at the Olympic Park Museum. It was awesome. By the end of that day we were missing our baby girl so we headed home to a little surprise party and some cake. We started the next day by celebrating Pioneer Day with an early morning parade, a nice long afternoon nap and then finished the day with Kindle's favorite: the rodeo and a great fireworks finale. I am so lucky to have such an amazing wife and friend to spend my life with. I love you Kindle. - Ben

The Summer Sizzle with Mustard and Catch up...

2011-07-18T11:50:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends! It's July and we've been lovin' every minute of it. We've spent lots of time swimming, going to the zoo, watching parades and fireworks, and generally hanging out with our cousins. Here is the month in pictures...

For extra points, see if you can spot the tiger.

The 4th of July!! One of my favorite holidays. Hunstville is the best for old timey Americana. We started with a pancake breakfast in the park and then headed over to the parade. One float was full of cheerleaders from the local high school spraying everyone with water guns. As they passed by the house we were sitting in front of, the owner came out with his garden hose on full blast and doused them all. Hilarious. See what I mean? You'd never see that in a big city parade.

Waving the red, white, and blue!

That night we returned to Huntsville Park and set ourselves up for the fireworks. We ate sweet chex mix, now dubbed "Satan's Snack Mix" because the stuff is so addictive, played frisbee and danced the night away. Seriously, the DeeJay played music all night and it was like a huge dance party in the park. Then we got cozy and watched the magic of Isla's first fireworks. We were so excited to see her face light up with surprise, but after all that dancin...she fell asleep.

Hiking! Ben got brave and loaded up Isla in the back packer and we headed up to Waterfall Canyon. It was worth it. The mist from the waterfall was so nice and Isla was amazed at the sight of it.

Cuddling up to mom at a summer concert in the park. Love.

Every year on the Sunday before the 24th of July, Weber State hosts a summer pops concert and firework show out on the grass by the duck pond. It has been a tradition to go and picnic and listen to the symphony since I was kid. I look forward to it every year. This year was no exception.

Isla didn't like her glow sticks in a necklace.

There, fixed it.

Lil' E, however, likes his glow sticks any way he can get them.

Happy Summer!!

Numero Uno!!

2011-05-21T20:55:00.000-07:00

My baby turned 1 today. Well, technically yesterday. We partied today due to it being a Saturday and, well, let's face it, the only sunny day we'll be seeing for a while. *sigh* How can it be?! Sometimes I want her to stay little forever, but since it cannot be, we might as well eat cake. And oh, what a cake! Here are a few scene's from the happy day.

A few of the party guests.

The Birthday Girl!!

See what I mean! A.MA.ZING. And it tasted great too. Made specially for Isla by the talented and lovely Jenn Bradshaw. Thanks Jenn!!

Cassie came to celebrate and brought Isla the biggest, most ginormous bear she could find. Seriously. It's huge.

I don't think she minds!

What a year!! It went too fast. We fall more in love with this little woman every day. Happy Birthday sweetheart!!

Mother's Day Re-cap

2011-05-21T19:58:00.001-07:00

Mother's Day.

I must admit, I have dreaded this day during the past 5 years we've struggled with starting our family. This year I was asked to speak in church and I must have some sort of disorder in which I cannot say no, because I heard myself say, "Sure!" and then I went home and cried. How could I speak to my entire ward about the sensitive feelings I've had towards a day that so clearly marked the thing, that up until now, I was not? I was definitely feeling sorry for myself and letting it get the better of me. Don't get me wrong, I am eternally grateful for the incredible sacrifice and blessing that made me Isla's mom, but our struggle with infertility and recurrent miscarriage has left a few battle scars. Old injuries that sometimes ache. And then an interesting thing happened. Cassie, Isla's birthmom, invited me to attend the annual dinner held at the LDSFS office in Salt Lake City to honor birthmothers day. Birthmother's Day is held the day before Mother's Day. This may be the first time you've heard of it, but the day seems incredibly fitting to me, seeing as Cassie had to be a mom before I could be one. I walked into a room full of women that had all placed a baby through adoption anywhere from 25 years ago to 2 weeks ago. The spirit in the room was so strong as I listened to each of their stories, laughed, cried, and looked at pictures of their sweet babies and the new families they had created. Beautiful women. Loving mothers. One word...humbled. I know my Heavenly Father loves me, but I'm grateful that he chooses to remind me that sometimes, it's not all about me. It was just what I needed to give me the strength and inspiration to speak to the women in our ward. Women who should know that although it is a tremendous blessing to be a wife and mother, the greater blessing is that first and foremost we are

Daughters.

It was a good day.

Spring Forward

2011-03-15T08:23:00.001-07:00

Hello everybody, it's Ben here. Kindle had been neglecting this here blog, so I thought Isla and I would take a crack at it. Tonight the rain clouds parted just enough for us to take an evening stroll in the sunshine. It finally felt like spring time. If you'd like to join us, press play. -Ben

The perfect way to end a year...Part I

2011-01-03T09:28:00.000-08:00

December brought us thankful hearts and many sweet moments. The first week in December we were sealed as a family for time and all eternity in the Bountiful, Utah Temple. We felt all shiny and new when we came out, a complete family. It was the best way to start the holiday season...EVER.

Isla discovered the joys of twinkle lights on her first Christmas tree. The ornaments provided the motivation needed for crawling and she's been moving faster than me ever since.

Sweet baby girl was also blessed by her dear daddy in December and got to wear her pretty white dress again. She glowed in front of the tree.

Isla also discovered the joys of solid food this month. Well, playing in it at least.

We went to the lights at Temple square, beautiful as always. Here is Ben and Isla waiting to go see the lights while mommy wandered around Anthropologie, aimlessly wishing for EVERYTHING while smelling random candles and looking at knick knacks. Do they look bored?

It was sooo cold! Isla was toasty, but we made her wear my scarf around her face anyway, plus we like her to look mysterious. Is she laughing? Is she crying? Who knows! Also, I just realized that my nose makes an appearance in this pic. See if you can spot it...Ha!

Lil' E came for a visit and learned how to use the camera, by himself!

Awww, sweet brudder with lil' D = Sweetie pies.

Christmas came early when Cassie came up to deliver some goods. She spoiled us all! Isla was in heaven with all the new toys and played so hard she slept through the night and late into the morning. It was the best present I've ever received. ;-)

That night, Isla decided to whip out some new skills. Not only can she crawl super fast, but she now smiles on cue when the camera comes out. Only...sometimes it is a little intense. We like to call it her 'cheese' face. No lie. More pics to follow.

There were so many fantastic things happening in December this post needed too be split in two. That's what I get for slacking in the blogging department! Round 2 coming soon!

The perfect way to end a year...Part II

2011-01-03T07:58:00.000-08:00

I told you there would be more. Here is the 'cheese' face in all it's glory. Oh, man, could they get any cuter?

Point those toes girl! This is Christmas Eve. Can't you just see the excitement building?

The girlies got to splash around and play in the tub on Christmas Eve in preparation for the obligatory matching pajama's on Christmas Eve photo.

Obligatory matching pajama's on Christmas Eve photo.

They were all pretty cranky by the time this photo was taken, so we gave them each a candy cane and cup of hot chocolate and made them shovel the walks before bed, just to give them all that extra little Christmas push over the edge. They must have had sweet dreams though, because in the morning?

Okay, brace yourselves. Wait for it.........

That's right folks. Pure, unadulterated Christmas Joy!

"Cheese!"

Isla's first Christmas and she got a pony. And oh, what a pony. See for yourselves!

Alas, all good things must come to an end. And so, we celebrated the exit of a miraculous and wonderful 2010 in true fashion by getting all dolled up and going out on the town, I mean,
sitting on our couch in our sweats with our eyelids propped open watching an ancient Dick Clark count down to midnight (I swear he was out of breath and barely made it to 0) eating artichoke dip and cupcakes until we were sick, and climbing into bed by 12:10 am. Happy New Year!

This year Isla has resolved to getting over her fears. First up, Dogs...

Tile...

And Madagascan Hissing Cockroaches. Way to go Isla!

By Order Of The Court

2010-12-02T08:12:00.000-08:00

I can't tell you how many times I've prayed for this day. It's a lot. All week it has seemed like a dream knowing that it would finally be official and Isla would be ours forever. That morning I got up early, or rather, Isla got up early. We sat in front of the Christmas tree and looked in awe at it's glowing branches. I decided that this is my favorite Christmas of all. That afternoon we put on our Sunday best and headed over to the court house. I was a little nervous, never having been in court before, but Ben assured me that it would be better than any of the times he had been before.

We invited Cassie to come and witness the occasion, it only seemed fitting since it was her miraculous decision that made all of this possible in the first place. After all we've been through together it would have seemed strange to not have her there. Have I mentioned that we love her forever? Yeah, we do.

The court was running late that day and by the time it was our turn Isla was completely asleep and missed the whole thing.

Our lawyer headed to the stand and called us up to be seated before the court. We swore to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help us God. And then our lawyer proceeded to examine the witness, who also happened to be our caseworker from LDSFS. He asked her if all our paperwork was complete and correct. Then he began to interrogate us with questions like, "Do you love this child as your own?" and "Will you care for and love this child for the whole of your lives?" and on and on until we were all a crying mess. The judge said that he had read our homestudy and subsequent reports and that they reflected well on us as parents and that they were very positive. Then he said those magical words we have been waiting months to hear and ruled that we are now the lawful parents of Isla Grace Garner. I wanted him to use the gavel at that point, but no such luck. ;-) He did agree to a picture though, and mentioned that his grandson was also adopted and that he had a special place in his heart for adoption.

Aunt Claire and Isla's sweet little cousin Olive came to see us become a family too.

I love this picture. Can you see any resemblance? Um, yes. We always knew this day was coming, but I think that Ben and I are both able to breath a little easier now that it's done. It didn't hit me until later that night when our heads finally hit our pillows and the events of the day settled in. Tears filled my eyes in the darkness and I struggled to express the gratitude I was feeling, though my heart was on fire. Sometimes, words just aren't enough.

Please sir, may I have some more?

2010-11-19T06:35:00.000-08:00

HaPpY HallOweEN!!

2010-10-30T20:05:00.000-07:00

Comedic Relief

2010-10-22T10:11:00.000-07:00

Good Dog

2010-10-17T15:42:00.000-07:00

Everytime I see someone walking past our little house I pause and wait for it. The barking. It's so quiet now that my sweet dog is gone. It's a little unsettling how much trust we put into her to protect our house and give us peace of mind. A few weeks ago I had left the front door wide open to let in the fresh air. As I tucked Isla in for a nap I got nervous for a split second that maybe it was unsafe, but I figured if there were any danger Sophie would let me know with that big bark of hers that was often intimidating to outsiders. So many times I'd yell out the window for her to stop barking and now I find myself sadly missing it. Just pulling into the drive way and seeing the empty spot on the porch is enough to make my eyes well up.

The thought of going on a hike and not having her there seems so foreign and lonely. What if an animal comes or a suspicious person is on the trail, who'll watch out for us? All these unnoticed securities we had entrusted to our dog, a job she took on happily. She was loyal, particular in who she trusted, protective, sweet, calm, and a fantastic house guest. She could be cunning and very instinctual, especially when it came down to wild animals. She scrapped with 3 skunks, 2 raccoons, 1 porcupine,a handful of various rodents, and once had a near miss with a rattlesnake to be exact.

I loved how strong she was, and there was no denying that she was a truly beautiful animal. I loved her for being excited to see us after a long days work, even when we were too tired to go on a walk. I will miss seeing her run through deep snow in the winter, her favorite. I will miss the way she used to howl and tap her paws when she got excited to see a friend or loved one. Most of all I think I will miss that bark that let us know she was there, watching out for us. Thank you, Sophie. Good dog.

San Francisco Treat

2010-09-30T13:51:00.001-07:00

After a day of sight seeing in downtown San Fran we decided we'd had enough of all the places you're "supposed" to visit and wanted to do something that only the locals do. While sitting in a cafe I asked two fashionably dressed women what they do around town. They responded with what else, "we eat!" And boy do they know how to eat as well. First up, Tartine. A bakery so good that there is actually no sign announcing it's inconspicuous location, only a line out the door and the smell of fresh baked bread. Yum.

Being from the clan McConnell myself and Ben being a descendant of those knaves the Campbell's, we made a quick stop at the farmers market before heading over to one of the largest Scottish Games in the U.S. It is a veritable nerd fest, but if you happen to be Scottish you can't help but like it. Plus, did you know that Chainmail comes in a halter top? Me neither.

I forgot to wear flowers in my hair...

2010-09-20T09:52:00.000-07:00

SAN FRANSISCO! Is it shameful to admit I only came for the food? Oh, and my parents. I do love my parents. Here is our trip in pictures.

First on the agenda: get sand between our toes,

see the ocean for the first time,

and let the grandparents kiss on our cheeks.

Day 2 we headed to the Ferry building and tasted our way through all the vendors. First up, perfect macarons by Miette.

Speaking of perfect little macarons, this one was sweeter than them all!

Ben tried his first oyster on the half shell, and liked it! (and I gagged, it's a texture thing...)

Then we tried to work off a few calories by walking down to the wharf...

...where we went sunbathing.

Stay tuned for part 2 where we get fierce in the Mission district and eat far too many pastries at Tartine... it was worth it.

She said it best...

2010-08-27T19:58:00.000-07:00

I loved this post on adoption at The Oak Tree blog. Her words are so powerful and she explained so perfectly how we feel, I just had to share.

Love,

Kindle

http://lessonsoftheoaktree.blogspot.com/2010/04/given-more.html

Baby Gaga

2010-08-18T10:41:00.000-07:00

Claire's Baby Shower

2010-08-15T14:38:00.000-07:00

Menu:

Fresh peaches, strawberries, bananas, and blueberries

Roasted potatoes with herbed creme fresh

Assorted quiches:

Spinach, artichoke, and feta

Bacon, portobello, and swiss

Green pepper, onion, tomato, sausage, and cheddar

Assorted tarts:

Fig, gorgonzola, hazelnut, and balsamic

Fig, vanilla, and ricotta

Roasted shallot, basil, and goat cheese

Strawberry cake with strawberry buttercream

So, so love it

2010-08-06T10:59:00.000-07:00

P.S. I cannot for the life of me figure out why the video is the right size during composition, but doesn't fit when published. Sorry. If you click on the video it will take you to YouTube where you can watch it in full format. It's worth it, I promise. Oh, and if you know what I'm doing wrong...help!

Just cuz she's so cute...

2010-07-28T12:29:00.001-07:00

29

2010-07-28T11:51:00.000-07:00

Yep, that's right, 29. I have a feeling this is going to be my vintage year. I'll look back and say, "29, now that was a good year."

I just happen to have been born on the greatest holiday ever to have a Birthday on, Pioneer Day. Here is why:

1. There is a parade EVERY year.

2. Most everyone has the day off.

3. It's not such a big holiday that it ruins your birthday.

4. Rodeo + Pioneer heritage = I can wear my cowboy hat and not feel like a poser.

5. Fireworks

Do YOU get all that on your birthday? Didn't think so.

First in the parade were these guys:

I cried when they marched pass.

They were followed by these guys:

More crying.

Isla, perfecting her wave as the Beauty Queens passed.

My sweet neicies walked around the Farmer's Market with us and couldn't resist the face painting. Do you blame them?

Ah, yes, the Rodeo. What can I say, I love the rodeo. It's exciting and funny and they sell real navajo taco's on fry bread. I couldn't have asked for more.

p.s. check out the photo bomb in the background! Thanks guy for making this one photo picture perfect.

p.p.s. Ben is my hero. He is the real reason I enjoy my Birthday every year because he does all the little things that make it special. Thanks hon, I love you.

Bluegrass Baby

2010-07-15T09:44:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to resurrect some of my musical capabilities I have decided to take guitar lessons. Of course who better to take guitar from than Danielle Vaughn. She suggested that I go the the Snowbird Song School at the Mountain Music Festival. It was taught be Steve Seskin, a master song writer and wonderful teacher. It was an amazing class and things really started to click for me there and inspired me to start writing for myself more. It was just what I needed to fill my cup with. Ben and Isla came along for fun and we got a condo with a kitchen. Ooh la la, we felt so fancy with our accommodations in the Snowbird Lodge, thank goodness for summer rates! The view alone was worth it, not to mention the amazing musicians bouncing around carrying their instruments to the festival. Isla was an angel the whole time and we had so much fun as a family at the festival. We think Isla is going to be our little Bluegrass Baby, she seemed to like it so much. I think Ben and I are officially searching the market for a mandolin or a banjo. Let us know if you have one you want to sell!

Steve Seskin and I

Marny Proudfit, me, Danielle Vaughn

Isla conked out during Catie Curtis and slept all through The Badly Bent

At the top of Mineral Basin. I'd never been to Snowbird before, but I can tell you that view had me craving snow season like never before. We'll be back in January armed with our snowboards.

The view from our room.

And of course, no post is complete without a little Isla love. I think she had a pretty good vacation too seeing as she was hamming it up for us every time we got back to the room. We can't get enough of our sweet little girl.

4th of July Shenanigans

2010-07-06T16:09:00.000-07:00

Isla's lil' cousin D having a snack, yum!

Huntsville is still considered somewhat of a small town, which means they are a little short on regulation.I'm pretty sure no one has ever been skewered by a dum-dum or slapped silly by an otter-pop being flung at them from an overloaded 4th of July parade float i.e. tractor full of underage kids, but there is a first for everything. For now, they win the prize for best treats thrown at a crowd, ever. Lil' E was happy to share, after the first lick of course.

Seriously, is there ANYTHING cuter than a baby in a swimsuit?

Aww, babies first fireworks...I think she liked it...

Oh, yeah, rockin the sparklers with the nieces!

P.S. I missed my brothers more than ever on the 4th. Jeff is serving in the Air Force as a flight medic and Levi is with the Army in Iraq. I am humbled and grateful for their decision to serve our country and protect our freedoms. Keep them in your prayers. Thanks guys! We love you!

Everything's coming up roses...

2010-06-24T11:34:00.000-07:00

Can I tell you how much I heart being a mom? I LOVE it. Truly. Even the stinky parts of it. Isla is my buddy, we are attached at the hip. I love watching her eyes get bright when there is a sudden shift in light or a change in atmosphere, everything a new experience. I love comforting her when she's unsure or scared, or even just hungry and tired. I love cooing with her in the mornings when she's bright eyed and well rested. Her personality is emerging everyday and we are sure there are implications that we may have a confident and strong little girl on our hands, traits we couldn't be fonder of. I also love who she is helping me to become. The constant care and attention she needs has been a humbling way for me to learn how to serve more selflessly. I find myself suddenly more sympathetic and patient of others, now that I would give everything I am for the well being of this tiny human. I consider being child-like a humble and perfect trait to nurture within, how strange and wonderful that we should be stewards over our mentors in this matter. God is a master play-write and irony makes for an intriguing plot I suppose. Everything looks rosy these days now that we have her in our lives. I am so grateful. And Happy.

P.S. It is irritating enough just hearing your recorded voice, let alone when you are doing baby-talk. What can we say, we love our kid. Feel free to turn down the volume to avoid the super annoying but completly enamored parents in the background!

How Provençal

2010-06-10T09:45:00.000-07:00

Ben picked the first of our summer spoils a few days ago and I was delighted at the prospects. We had all the ingredients fresh from the garden for one of my FAVORITE mid afternoon snacks. On a side note, don't you love the word snack? It's so unassuming and insinuates a small amount, a bite if you will. I nearly ate an entire baguette slathered in cold butter, but if I call it a "snack" then I don't feel guilty about having dinner an hour later. "What, me? Full? Oh, no I only had a snack." I can rationalize eating most anything under the guise of "snack", I know I can't be the only one doing this...right? Anyone? Moving on, I found the simple recipe for this charming appetizer in Ina Garten's cook book entitled 'Barefoot in Paris' and it's quickly become one of our favorites that we quite literally eat as a light meal for dinner now. Keep it rustic and you will feel like you'd fit right in at a French villa in the countryside, even if your current location happens to be Ogden, UT or some other equally as charming town. Bon Apetit!

Fresh Radishes

Fresh Arugula

European Style Creamery Butter, cold and unsalted (good butter is a must for this)

Good, crusty French baguette

Sea salt

Slice the baguette cross-wise, spread butter on each slice, layer sliced radishes on top and sprinkle with sea salt, top with a couple leaves of arugula. Try not to eat entire baguette alone.

Also, fresh picked strawberries are as sweet as they come.

Heavy lifting

2010-06-04T16:18:00.000-07:00

Is it me or is this the most amazing feat for a 2 week old? Yeah, we think she's pretty awesome.

Little Darling

2010-06-04T10:51:00.000-07:00

And one more thing...

2010-06-02T09:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's rough being a baby.

Adoption Story Part 2

2010-06-02T08:10:00.000-07:00

I realize that it's been some time since my last post. I have hesitated to write the second part of the story as it is so dear to my heart and hard to share such tender feelings. When people describe placement day in the adoption world more often than not you hear the word bittersweet. Such a fitting word to describe the heartbreak and overwhelming joy you experience simultaneously. No one prepares you for the emotion you will face when you sign those papers and walk into that room.

Ben and I sat in an empty conference room with our caseworker anxiously and nervously signing placement documents and trying not to cry, even though our eyes were already puffy and red from the drive. Luckily, a random woman in a hospital gown wandered into the room and sat down at the table with us and began listening intently. Our caseworker awkwardly slowed her speech as the three of us turned to inquire of the intrusion by another patient in the labor and delivery ward. She said, "Oh, keep going, I just have a question when your through..." To which we replied, "Um, about...adoption?" She turned all red and left in a hurry when it was finally established that the breastfeeding class slated for that room had indeed been cancelled. Comedic relief to lighten the anxiety of the moment. Our papers were signed so quickly it seemed odd that such a simple act could alter our course so profoundly. We left the room and walked down the hall to where Cassie stood, rocking little Isla back and forth with her family there for support. The spirit was so strong in that room, and I felt instantly that the hundreds of prayers from those we love were being fulfilled. It was peaceful, and emotional, and love filled the room up. I knew angels were there sustaining us all. We hugged and cried and made future plans with our new extended family. It felt like a little piece of heaven on earth had been restored in that room. Heaven as it should be, no pride or harshness, just unconditional love and mercy. I cannot tell you how it felt to leave that room where we all shared so much. My heart was bleeding for Cassie and her selfless act for us and this tiny baby we carried away. If it wasn't for the residing peace and comfort we all felt, I don't think it could be possible to have performed such an act, a testiment of Cassie's true character. We made it down the elevator and out to our waiting car with a nurse in tow to check out our carseat, a new mandate. We had planned to leave quickly so Cassie didn't have to see us drive away, but her Dad happened to be going out to get his car as well. He leaned in as we awkwardly strapped in the carseat for the first time and said,"So, how bout a BBQ in few weeks?" And it felt as natural as ever. Relief and assurance that indeed this was not a final goodbye, but a new start for a beautiful baby girl who has all the love in the world.

Adoption Story Part 1

2010-05-23T05:11:00.001-07:00

Have you ever felt you were a part of something bigger than yourself? A plan in motion so perfectly designed you have no control of where it leads you and so flawless is the plan that nor would you want to. That's how you recognize a miracle taking place. Big miracles do not come easily, to be a part of something so sacred does not come without some trial of your faith, shaping us into the people we need to be in order to receive a miracle of such magnitude.

Ben and I have been planning our family since the day we got married in October of 2005. We pictured ourselves in different settings with our imagined family: at the beach, camping in the nearby mountains, snowboarding, all the things we love to do and wanted our children to be a part of. Among many other reasons you can imagine our grief when those dreams seemed to be dashed time and time again with the ebbs and flows of infertility. We watched and waited as friends and family around us seemed to be moving forward, having children and us feeling left behind wondering if a family would every be a part of our reality. The years past and after several miscarriages and an international adoption that was a losing battle we felt led to LDS Family Services. I was discouraged, I had read that they only place with 10% of their couples, but Ben had enough faith for the both of us. We submitted our paperwork and started the wait for a baby the week of Christmas 2009. We attended a class a few weeks later in January about adoption options and I felt like maybe we should just go back to international. With all the training we'd had, we were better prepared for international adoption than domestic and there is such a need for families for millions of orphans world wide. It was a way to pursue a child rather than a wait to be picked and in an underlying way it felt a little more controllable. I wrestled with what we should do and desperation and worry seemed to rule my every decision. One day, after only a month with our profile on the LDSFS website, out of anger and frustration at everything we were going through and an attempt to control the situation as much as I could I called Ben and told him I was taking all our paperwork out of LDSFS and changing agencies for international adoption. Of course he was hesitant and with good reason, we had only just begun and my faith had worn thin, feeling like the Lord had forgotten us after so many years of praying for this blessing. I called our caseworker with a heavy heart with every intention of telling her to take our profile down and to my surprise when she answered the phone and before I could get a word out she greeted me with, "Oh, hey! Did you get that e-mail from the Birthmother that is trying to contact you?" Of course I was in shock and feeling a little sheepish for not trusting the promptings we had had for LDSFS. It was everything I could do to not open the e-mail that night before Ben got home from work. In apprehension and excitement we read the letter that changed our lives forever. With teary eyes we hung on every word from Cassie and cried and cried when we read her last sentence "I don't know how to say this, but I know you are the parents of my baby" immediately we knew we loved her and would never be the same.

In the following weeks we made plans to meet with Cassie face to face and tried not to let our nervousness be so apparent. We e-mailed frequently and slowly got to know each other. Cassie had been told by a doctor in the past that it would be difficult for her to ever bear children so when she was told she was almost 6 months pregnant it had come as quite a shock. As the miracle of her pregnancy settled in she knew she had to weigh her options. Cassie prayed for the first time in a long time and felt the spirit so strongly when she prayed about adoption she knew it was what she wanted to do for her baby. She called LDSFS the night she found out and realized it was almost 8:30 p.m. and the offices were most likely closed. Mary Anne just happened to be in the office that night, picking up some forgotten paperwork when the phone rang. They talked about making a plan for Cassie and meeting to discuss, but in the mean time Cassie could view the website and also adoptive couples if she was curious. The night she went to the site and typed in her preferences we were the first couple to come up. She said she just knew it was us, simple as that. Cassie looked through other profiles, but every 3rd or 4th one she wanted to view ours again and finally she made the decision that would shape the coming events. I'm sure Mary Anne was shocked when Cassie told her she had already found the couple after only one conversation, but Cassie is strong and steadfast in her decisions and it felt right to her.

In the last few months we have spent time e-mailing and going to some great restaurants, Cassie is something of a connoisseur when it comes to food in Salt Lake City. Our relationship grew and was not without it's ups and downs, but like every strong relationship, we were defining who we are and developing a new normal. Trust is an amazing concept. Ben and I trusting Cassie with our hearts and her doing the same after only having just met. I don't think it would be possible had the Lord's hand not been present and looking back at everything leading up to this moment he has truly been guiding every experience. As we became more and more involved Ben and I realized that Cassie had become apart of our family and it felt right, like that's how it was always supposed to be. We met her family and fell just as hard for them and we knew we had made this plan in another life and here it was unfolding before us so beautifully. Explaining open adoption has proven to be difficult when faced with so many notions and worries from others who care deeply for us and are afraid we may get hurt. What I can tell you is that Cassie and her family have far more to lose than a broken heart and yet they choose to sacrifice their feelings for this tiny baby, how could we not feel the same? How could we not love them endlessly for such a decision? Cassie has demonstrated Christ-like love in it's most pure form and I have never felt more joy and happiness in setting aside our insecurities and embracing what has been laid out before us, God working miracles in us all.

Cassie went to the doctor on Wednesday morning and after an anxious week overdue we finally got the call that it was time to go to the hospital. She looked like an angel to me sitting in that bed, nervous for what was to come. We had taken a birthing class together to prepare for this moment, but now that it was here I felt completely ill equipped to comfort her. Ben and I, Mary Anne, and Cassie's mom and step dad watched and waited and laughed to pass the time. They told us stories of Cassie being a naughty teenager, stealing her step dad's car to go on a joy ride at fifteen, and we shared funny experiences of our own. We watched Wheel of Fortune and Etertainment Tonight and ate popsicles and stared at the monitor to time contractions. The anesthesiologist arrived with an epidural and we were all relieved to see him. As the contractions got stronger and closer together the anticipation began to build and we could see the worry on Cassie's face. She turned to Ben and asked him for a Priesthood blessing. I cannot explain how it felt to be in that soft quiet room and see my husband give a blessing of health and comfort to the mother of our child, such sacred responsibility. The spirit was strong and it was then that things began to progress. Ben and Cassie's step dad left the room, worried and anxious as ever. Cassie worked tirelessly and I felt a little helpless as we watched her intense pain grow as the epidural had worn off right before the time to push. With some assistance from the doctor little Isla made her entrance into this world at exactly 3:00AM. It wasn't without concern though as the umbilical cord was wrapped so tightly around her neck the doctor had to cut the cord three times in order to remove it. She finally took a breath after a full minute of assisted breathing and we were relieved to hear her cry, literally music to our ears.

Ben and I accompanied Isla to the NICU and anxiously waited for the moment we could take her back to the room to meet Cassie. As I held this perfect baby in my arms for the first time it was love at first sight. She is so tiny and sweet. The most perfect thing I could ever imagine. Ben is already wound tightly around those tiny little fingers. We wheeled her back to the room and joined Cassie. The room was quiet, everyone but Mary Anne had left, and we all sat together and watched as Cassie met this little one she'd carried for 9 months. Love filled the room exceedingly and our hearts were bound with everything we were experiencing together. Bittersweet joy and unconditional love I didn't fully understand until now.

Isla Grace Garner

5.20.2010

3:00 AM

6lbs 14 oz

19 inches

perfection

Come What May and Love It

2010-04-19T14:09:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just need a little reminder...

Music to inspire sunshine:

2010-04-08T08:06:00.000-07:00

side note: I am obviously not capable of figuring out how to reformat Youtube videos into blogger. Sorry. I tried, I really, really tried.

The Emerald City: Part 2

2010-03-19T15:31:00.000-07:00

My favorite thing about being in a new place is watching all the interesting people that live and breath that city. Here are a few characters I thought I'd share with you.

Fact about me you may not know: I LOVE the banjo. It's true. I aspire to play one someday and I check the classifieds for used banjo's all the time. No surprise I had to stop and admire this guy, a great old timey rocker belting it out on a street corner.

The Emerald City: Part 1

2010-03-16T14:10:00.000-07:00

I am the kind of traveler that is resistant to being a tourist at all costs. I try my hardest to blend in, speak softly and politely, and to take the road less traveled as often as possible in the hopes of creating an experience that is uniquely my own. Seattle, however, is so delightfully charming in all of it's most heavily populated touristy areas it's almost impossible to skip it in favor of searching for hidden gems in a maze of high rises. Sometimes the most obvious places really are the best. And so...The Public Market remains a must-do in Seattle. I think the pictures speak for themselves.

So much to eat, so little time. Fresh made cheese cases everywhere had plenty of things to try. Le Panier had the best French breads and pastries I've ever had. The almondine croissants were literally heaven on earth. While waiting in line, a pretty girl playing an accordion out on the street began to sing La Vie En Rose and sounded just like Edith Piaf. Claire and I nearly started to cry! The perfect city moment.

These little treats are french macarons. I've had them before and been disappointed, they tasted better in my mind. This time, however, they did not disappoint. Perfectly crisp on the outside and cakey on the inside with perfectly smooth flavored butter cream in the middle. I am on a mission to recreate it somehow for my unlimited enjoyment! I'll have you over for tea when I have it mastered, it may be a very long wait.

There were never such adoring sisters...

2010-02-10T20:05:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my sister Kit's birthday. I spent all afternoon making her a carrot cake and some pink Valentine cookies for her modest surprise party. In my small, but cozy kitchen I thought about Kit and I as little girls. So many memories passed through my mind, some silly, some serious, but mostly silly. I remembered playing in the back of the truck and getting in a fight and pushing her off the tailgate and onto the concrete...Kit's first stitches. Mean older sister, I know. I also remember her writing "Kindell was here" on the wall in red crayon in an attempt to get me in trouble. Note to self: most people don't spell their own names wrong when leaving graffiti, a clear indicator of the real mastermind. Often times we would bicker and tease, but we also laughed...a lot. I don't recall how it started, but once we got into a small water fight in our bedroom. Someone splashed the other by the bathroom sink which escalated into a run to the kitchen for a glass of water, which of course was followed by a pitcher, and ultimately ended in Kit running outside, turning on the garden hose and hoisting it into the open bedroom window on full blast with her little thumb over the end to ensure maximum spray in my direction. It wasn't until my Dad walked past the closed bedroom door and felt the squish of soaking wet carpet between his toes that he swung the bedroom door wide to find two dripping wet girls, in a dripping wet bedroom, having the best dripping wet time ever with the garden hose in the window.

When we got a little older my Mom and Dad decided that it was time we had our own rooms and they remodeled the bedrooms in the basement to accommodate our growing family. In the mean time Kit and I had to share a bed in one bedroom while the other was being finished. It was cold and dark and a bit scary, but we had each other. We called it the "Mountain Room" because of the huge wall paper mural of a mountain scene from the sixties pasted on the wall. We stuck glow-in-the-dark stars all over it so that when we turned out the lights the mountain scene became a glowing night sky. I would try to cuddle up next to Kit, I was always cold, and she would scoot away and take all the blankets. We would talk until late at night and giggle about silly girl things. She swore I snored every night and I complained of her bony ankles kicking me awake. Once the rooms were finished and we each had our own little private corner of the house, I missed her. It was too quiet in my room and her absence made me realize that I actually kinda liked my annoying little sister. We grew up and life took us separate directions for a while with school and marriage. When Ben and I moved back to Utah it was like getting to know Kit all over again, now a grown woman. I realized once again her absence in my life and I missed her presence. My annoying little sister had been replaced with a strong and beautiful woman. I love her dearly and sometimes wish for that small room we shared all our secrets in so many years ago. Happy Birthday Kit!

New Rule

2010-02-09T21:07:00.000-08:00

You take a bath at Aunt Kindle's, you get a mohawk.

The Weekend Update

2010-02-09T20:35:00.000-08:00

On Friday afternoon Ben had to go back up to the Olympic Park to run an errand. What was the errand, you ask? Oh, just to fetch Olympic Gold Medalist, Jimmy Shae's helmet from a display in order to mail it to a girl competing in Vancouver next week in the skeleton. It was our lucky day because Mr. Jimmy Shae himself showed up just as we were leaving AND he just happened to have his gold medal with him AND he asked if we wanted to hold it AND he was super nice and took a picture with us to boot. By the way, gold medals are heavy!

Oh, yeah AND Sophie got a much needed bath.

Um....Happy Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year! Ah, shucks.

2010-01-18T14:40:00.000-08:00

First, We went to St. George for Thanksgiving and burned off a few extra calories by hiking Angel's Landing in Zion's National Park.

The trail winds up this ridge and is scary...

...but the view is amazing.

Next, we gained those calories back by drinking lots of hot chocolate.

Christmas brought...

lights...

a tree...

...and Levi!

Fresh from basic training in his handsome uniform. He let us take some patriotic pictures and he tried his best to look like a serious soldier, but we know better.

The kids got up early to open presents, and by kids I mean everyone but lil'E and lil'D. They slept in.

Apparently, the excitement of Christmas morning was almost too much for us to handle.

Lastly, Ben and Levi thought it would be hilarious to usher in the new year by rigging up my homemade ginger bread house/shack with explosives. Of course it didn't go as planned and they almost caught the blasted patio roof on fire. The banshee you hear screaming in the back ground would be me watching from inside the house. Enjoy!

I LUV THIS: Radiohead VS Dave Brubeck

2009-12-11T11:37:00.001-08:00

I feel it all, I feel it all....

2009-10-16T22:23:00.000-07:00

We went to Park City for the weekend. The city was sleepy, a tourist town in off season, my favorite time to visit. The Aspens glowed yellow and the air was crisp, perfect for relaxing in the hotel hot tub with your arms out on the cold cement when overheated.

Ben had to check up on a project for his company at the Olympic Museum. We must have been in the right place at the right time because we were lucky enough to have the chance to be able to ski on the olympic course while there.

I'm so glad we bought those matching yellow snow suits last year.

People in Park City are so glamorous. Can you imagine being so tack...um, I mean wealthy you can wear fur any time of day, or...um, night?

Overall a lovely weekend and a good way to feel the Autumn air on your face.

Oh, and by the way....

2009-10-08T12:50:00.000-07:00

Today is our 4 year anniversary. And I love him more than words

can express.

Elmer

2009-10-08T07:54:00.000-07:00

My little brother Levi has the best smile. The sides of his mouth curve into a perfect U shape, much better than the straight line of my own smile. His smile is how he earned the affectionate nickname, Elmer, as a baby. The resemblance was uncanny, bald head and that cute little smile, and of course the R's pronounced as W's. "I'm gonna git dat wascally wabbit." The nickname became an endearing reminder of the sweet boy we all adore, even though at times it is now buried under the tough exterior of a soldier. Levi is currently earning the title of soldier at basic training with the Army, working to serve our country with honor. I saw a picture of him at my mom's house, sent from base last week. He looked tired, but had that same great smile none the less. He told us before he left that all he wanted to do was something in his life that would bring honor to his name. I know the reality is that we are the ones who are honored to have him. Wuv you Elmer, big sis.

Levi and Dad

Wedded Bliss

2009-10-01T19:18:00.000-07:00

I found these pictures taken of my friend Kenzie's wedding a few weeks ago. Her wedding was at her parents home in Liberty. The night was cool and the evening light was perfect as we feasted on homemade crusty bread dipped in olive oil, hot artichoke dip, and gourmet cheeses. A band played as darkness crept in and the bride and groom glowed in the midst of all the friendly faces. The perfect late summer night. Congrats my friend!

Isn't her dress so fab?

Oh my holy crap....

2009-09-27T18:03:00.000-07:00

Hot Diggity Dam!

2009-09-25T14:09:00.000-07:00

Two weekends ago we were,um.....bored. It was an extra long weekend, it was rainy, and we had no where to go. Duh! We have family in Las Vegas! Utah+Long weekend=Bored. Vegas+Long Weekend=Not Bored. Sing it with me now, VIVA Las Vegas, VIVA Las Vegas! It sure did deliver too. We even got invited to an impromtu pool party complete with homemade b.b.q. ribs and the BYU vs. Oaklahoma Game pool side over the loud speakers. Needless to say it was anything but boring. I also requested to go visit the Hoover Dam while there, just because. Pretty impressive slab of cement if I do say so myself. Thanks for havin us Garners!

Summer luvin', had me a blast...

2009-09-24T14:13:00.000-07:00

Fall is here. I can feel it in the crisp morning air. After living in Colorado for the last four summers, I can finally say I've had the summer I had longed for here in Utah. It was hot, full of fireworks and watermelon, rodeo's, and even included a river float or two. It was fun and just what we needed. Here's just a little sample:

Moab

Bear Lake
(love those niecies)

Late Summer Harvest

Yes, just what we needed.